This is me scrolling through the available males on OKCupid: Frowning in every photo -- next! Describes self as "old soul" -- yeah, no. Describes self as "man of God" -- whoopsie! Shows bare skin -- ick. Does not include head in any of photos -- whaa? Tells me not to contact him unless I "LIVE IN PORTLAND!" Photographs himself next to his car. Or in spandex shorts. Or swim trunks, making a muscle. Actually that one was kinda cute. Here's a guy petting a deer while still sitting on his bicycle. Like he thought maybe the deer would let him pet it, but he wasn't so committed to the idea to bother getting off his bike.
These men need a friend. A friend who will say, "Dude, skip that photo of you in the green cape." And, "add some punctuation." And no, I don't want to know that you can't live without good sex, or any of the details of what that means to you. It's also freaky when they say they're looking for a "kind-hearted woman." Does that mean all the women they've been with were somehow evil, they just couldn't tell when they first met them? I've never heard anyone say they were looking for a partner with a good heart. What are the alternatives? A cold, black dead heart?
The Old Soul, just to tell tales, was raised by Quakers and always cuts his own hair because the results, he says, are more consistent.
Too skinny, plus wearing red tights, and doing a handstand on a giant log. You in your Superman costume, possibly on Halloween. Or a full-face selfie, followed by the same selfie but now you're wearing sunglasses. So I can see how much cooler you are when you put your sunglasses on. A profile that reads like it was written by a Russian hacker.
When did I get so dour and picky?
42. I'm sure of it. OK, maybe a couple years earlier than that.
I am going to meet my first "date" this afternoon. His name is Stephen and he encourages me in dollar cost averaging. His kids are grown, and he lives nearby. I'm not sure he drinks. It could be interesting. He did initially want me to swing by his house. Not sure if that's code for something.
This is hard.
Friday, November 06, 2015
Monday, November 02, 2015
The Uber/Car Experiment
OK, it turns out I cannot do *nothing* for very long. My front door project is nearly finished (only two more coats of Spar varnish to go!) and the raised beds are on hold due to the rain. What's next? Turns out, I am signing up to be an Uber driver.
Now, I'm a greenie and a reluctant car owner. It costs me roughly $200 a month to keep my Prius on the road - that includes gas, insurance, and those two new tires they just put on. Could I live without a car, save that money, and walk the environmental walk?
To find out, I started looking at how I use the car. As a work-at-homer, I don't commute. I'm an avid bicyclist, and its super easy to get around Portland to meet people, run errands, etc. So the car is a luxury, not a necessity.
Right now, I make 6-8 car trips a month:
- moving cargo (like front doors)
- taking the dog places
- going hiking
- when I'm late
- when it rains
The math here is pretty bad. Just with the monthly expenses of the car -- and no car payment -- it costs $25 a ride in my own car -- the same as taking Uber on every trip. There are additional factors to consider, like tolls and fees. Depreciation runs roughly another $100 a month, assuming the car will be worthless in 15 years. And there's the opportunity cost of not having that $15,000 in the stock market, which could grow to $45k during those 15 years, instead of $0.
I have two choices. I can sell the car and augment my existing setup to cover the above use cases. That means renting or borrowing a car to move cargo, and using Uber when I'm running late. Biking, even when it rains, and taking public transit, even with the dog. So better time management, planning ahead, learning the bus routes and schedules, and getting wet. But this is Portland and these things are doable.
OR, I can keep my wasteful, polluting and gloriously convenient vehicle, and find a way to offset the cost of ownership. That's where Uber comes in.
If I can pick up an Uber rider on each trip, that should lower my cost per trip by $10-$20. If I increase my number of trips, say with a new hobby, that will lower the cost per trip. Admittedly, this is somewhat fuzzy logic. On the bright side, it would be good to get out more -- and a car helps me do that in a fast, spontaneous way. I'm trying to save the car because the car takes me to other people and, consequently, more connectedness and fun.
Now I just have to figure out if it's worth the cost. And answer the question: How much do I love my car?
Now, I'm a greenie and a reluctant car owner. It costs me roughly $200 a month to keep my Prius on the road - that includes gas, insurance, and those two new tires they just put on. Could I live without a car, save that money, and walk the environmental walk?
To find out, I started looking at how I use the car. As a work-at-homer, I don't commute. I'm an avid bicyclist, and its super easy to get around Portland to meet people, run errands, etc. So the car is a luxury, not a necessity.
Right now, I make 6-8 car trips a month:
- moving cargo (like front doors)
- taking the dog places
- going hiking
- when I'm late
- when it rains
The math here is pretty bad. Just with the monthly expenses of the car -- and no car payment -- it costs $25 a ride in my own car -- the same as taking Uber on every trip. There are additional factors to consider, like tolls and fees. Depreciation runs roughly another $100 a month, assuming the car will be worthless in 15 years. And there's the opportunity cost of not having that $15,000 in the stock market, which could grow to $45k during those 15 years, instead of $0.
I have two choices. I can sell the car and augment my existing setup to cover the above use cases. That means renting or borrowing a car to move cargo, and using Uber when I'm running late. Biking, even when it rains, and taking public transit, even with the dog. So better time management, planning ahead, learning the bus routes and schedules, and getting wet. But this is Portland and these things are doable.
OR, I can keep my wasteful, polluting and gloriously convenient vehicle, and find a way to offset the cost of ownership. That's where Uber comes in.
If I can pick up an Uber rider on each trip, that should lower my cost per trip by $10-$20. If I increase my number of trips, say with a new hobby, that will lower the cost per trip. Admittedly, this is somewhat fuzzy logic. On the bright side, it would be good to get out more -- and a car helps me do that in a fast, spontaneous way. I'm trying to save the car because the car takes me to other people and, consequently, more connectedness and fun.
Now I just have to figure out if it's worth the cost. And answer the question: How much do I love my car?
Saturday, October 17, 2015
Laying Fallow
Work has ended, at least for now. Suddenly, no structure, no early morning meetings, no deadlines -- and no money coming in. It is time for radical life evaluation.
Week 1: Visited parents in New York. Dad turned 86 last month and is slowing down. He often complains of the cold. He and mom are healthy and chipper, though, and fully mobile. Gives me great hope for my future as an elderly person.
New York's leaves were late this year, so not much color. But this was waiting for me when I got back home. Sweet!
Week 2: Did a monthly budget and freaked out. Loafed and read. Started Spanish class, so I can order "cerveza frio" and find the bathroom when I visit San Miguel de Allende next month.
Week 3: Made a lasagna with buffalo meat. Got back in the pool. Went ISO music: classical, country, alternative. Found out it only costs $60 to apply to the Iowa Writer's Workshop MFA program, in case the winter isn't cold enough in Oregon. Bought a couple "wicking" shirts for biking around town.
There is something about doing nothing. For us Type A personalities, it can be excruciating to have down time. (What to do now? Where's my accomplishment rush?) Yet it's uncanny how, without structure, I can seem to get things done in a gentle, eddying sort of way that's really quite lovely. Creative loafing, as it were. Doing more by doing less. Like Dan Price and his hobbit hole.
A friend suggested I make a list of everything I want from this new life in Portland. So here they are.
- A strong body
- A tidy house
- A simple life (as simple as possible)
- Meaningful work
- Someone to love me
- Creative outlets
- Community / camaraderie
- A calm mind
- Financial security
- A low-stress lifestyle
In the last seven months, I've gone through a breakup, moved to a different state, bought a house, moved again. Work has been consistent throughout the past two years, and it was hard to let it go. What's interesting though is to see what I am like as I emerge from all these transitions. Back to being single, growing older, sorting out who I am at this stage of my life. Still the same but with small changes that seem somehow enormous. So that's what this post is about: the never-ending process of finding yourself, and when you do, figuring out what you're like and how you operate.
The process has given me hope -- and faith -- in an organic sort of personal development that doesn't come from self-help books or programs. Small changes that are not coerced by requirements or expectations, even my own. Hasta luego!
 |
| Dad and niece pick pumpkins |
Week 2: Did a monthly budget and freaked out. Loafed and read. Started Spanish class, so I can order "cerveza frio" and find the bathroom when I visit San Miguel de Allende next month.
Week 3: Made a lasagna with buffalo meat. Got back in the pool. Went ISO music: classical, country, alternative. Found out it only costs $60 to apply to the Iowa Writer's Workshop MFA program, in case the winter isn't cold enough in Oregon. Bought a couple "wicking" shirts for biking around town.
There is something about doing nothing. For us Type A personalities, it can be excruciating to have down time. (What to do now? Where's my accomplishment rush?) Yet it's uncanny how, without structure, I can seem to get things done in a gentle, eddying sort of way that's really quite lovely. Creative loafing, as it were. Doing more by doing less. Like Dan Price and his hobbit hole.
A friend suggested I make a list of everything I want from this new life in Portland. So here they are.
- A strong body
- A tidy house
- A simple life (as simple as possible)
- Meaningful work
- Someone to love me
- Creative outlets
- Community / camaraderie
- A calm mind
- Financial security
- A low-stress lifestyle
In the last seven months, I've gone through a breakup, moved to a different state, bought a house, moved again. Work has been consistent throughout the past two years, and it was hard to let it go. What's interesting though is to see what I am like as I emerge from all these transitions. Back to being single, growing older, sorting out who I am at this stage of my life. Still the same but with small changes that seem somehow enormous. So that's what this post is about: the never-ending process of finding yourself, and when you do, figuring out what you're like and how you operate.
The process has given me hope -- and faith -- in an organic sort of personal development that doesn't come from self-help books or programs. Small changes that are not coerced by requirements or expectations, even my own. Hasta luego!
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