My title is what I ate for dinner when I got home. Technically I also had a small chicken burrito, but I liked the title better without it.
I am now one and half sheets to the wind because the beer was a Delirium Tremens which clocks in at nearly 10% alcohol. Being tipsy, I am not afraid to tell you about my pending existential crisis.
Tonight I went to a Board meeting of the Hands On Bay Area foundation and I presented, with my team of compatriots, their new branding and marketing guidelines. It went over pretty well, actually. Something impressed me when I was sitting in the room, which was a conference room of Wilson Sonsini Goodrich & Rosati, 33 floors above the Embarcadero in downtown San Francisco. Actually, in the same building complex I work in, just one of the newer towers that goes much much higher, so the view's a lot more impressive.
I was impressed at how calm and excited everyone was. The board were all good people. Different backgrounds and opinions. Dedicated, intelligent, engaged. I thought, now where do I get me some of that?
Board members are cool. I got to meet the board members of the Long Now Foundation last Friday night. A friend gave a talk about his new book, Glut, at an event they hosted, and then they took us out to dinner afterwards. It was a slow start. I was gunshy because the board of Long Now includes Stewart Brand, Kevin Kelly, and, newly, Kim Polese. I am not good with celebrities. At best, I quip. At least I quip well.
During the discussion of freeze-dried DNA, I likened the process to creating jerky. When the founder of another startup wanted a specific skillset on the cheap, I volunteered the magic word in HR circles: intern. I did okay. It was great to be in a (private dining) room full of smart people, though, talking about ideas.
Once I was good with a celebrity. A couple years ago I had dinner with Hollywood producer Joel Silver. His wife Kathryn is the aunt of a guy I was dating at the time. I totally nailed it. I entertained Joel, hassled him about getting Producers tickets, like everyone else he knew, and generally walked the line between insouciance and charm. I was delightful. My boyfriend kissed me happily in the car afterwards. Then, I promptly forgot Joel's name. Once or twice I tried to name-drop, but all I came out with was "Joel something. The guy who produced the Matrix movies."
I have not yet told anyone I had dinner with Kim Polese over the weekend. At best, I told my sister, via cellphone, while I was on the bus. One person turned his head. It was like the white-hot light of fame briefly seared my flesh. But not really.
I think what's hard is tha tmy life hasn't gone anywhere. And it really should. I've got game. I just don't have self-control, professionalism, or discipline. Perseverance? No, it's really more like I can't make up my mind. So my blog is now dedicated to me making up my mind, finding my calling, and applying myself rigorously to some new path. Because believe me, corporate work sucks.
