Life at the Zen Center

I've survived! It's Day 3 at the San Francisco Zen Center and I've adjusted to life "inside" fairly easily. Here are the high points.

Day 0 - Friday
Moved in, met my roommate Abi at dinner. She's a retired schoolteacher and we get along just fine. I have a roommate. It's like summer camp.

Day 1 - Saturday
Killer day. Sat 8 periods of zazen (sitting meditation) of 40 minutes each. First and second periods are fine. Third period, your knees start to hurt from sitting cross-legged (half lotus, technically). And, you're not supposed to get up. Or move. Or do anything except get down with the pain. Unfortunately the pain in your knees can make you tense up, and then your back starts to hurt. Then starts the sort of knee-shoulder/neck/back tango where you shift to relieve one until the other becomes excruciating. Oh, and your legs go to sleep. But you can breathe all you want. It's encouraged.

There is this funny thing that happens to me. My leg is asleep, which makes that knee hurt more. So I lean away from the leg, ostensibly to open up the artery that goes down it, but then I get this idea that maybe I can actually get away from my leg altogether -- detach it and lay it on the cushion and pick it up on my way out of the zendo. It's an appealing idea -- no leg, no pain. Quite rational. This idea remains moderately amusing for about 30 seconds. Only 2330 more seconds to go...


Day 2 - Sunday
The regular monastic schedule is mellower than the one-day sitting we did Saturday. They still wake you at 5am, but instead of all zazen all day, you get yoga and a two-hour work period, so you're not sitting all day. Also, lunch is in the dining room, instead of oryoki, which is the ritualistic form of eating in the temple. It takes about 35 minutes to unwrap the bowls, chant, bow, serve, cleanup, and rewrap the bowls. That leaves about 5 minutes to eat. I am a slow eater. I am expecting to lose weight.

A funny thing happened to time today. First off, it was like a year and a half between breakfast and lunch. After lunch, I got disoriented. I couldn't remember whether I'd just finished lunch or dinner. It took me a few mintues to sort out, or a few seconds. Who knows. The nice thing is, it doesn't really matter how confused you get, because there's a schedule and bells and a han, which is a big wooden block that someone hits with a mallet to signal that it's time to return to the zendo for more sitting. And you're not encouraged to leave the building, so even if you get stuck in a corner somewhere, someone's bound to find you and shepherd you along.

Also noticed that my thinking is changing a bit. Thoughts are getting flatter and clearer somehow -- they come into my mind like airy little wafers instead of Big Macs. Everything optional and a bit inconsequential. I like it.

Notable occurences: A glass light globe fell outside our room door, so I spent some time sucking up glass shards with a vaccuum nozzle. Oh, and the translations of the Diamond Sutra went missing, which is what we're supposed to be studying for the next 3 weeks. So there is intrigue and consternation here SFZC.

Day 3
Free day! Got to the gym, had a nice swim and a jaccuzzi, and enjoyed doing all sorts of things my body knows how to do: walking, carrying a purse, and driving a car. Also enjoyed having a shower with full water pressure. I shaved! Other things accomplished: vaccummed room, did laundry, got a cute haircut, bought a large bottle of ibuprofen, and had a bubble tea with Roger. My birthday dinner is shaping up into a nice bunch of folks. Not sure what my plans are for my actual birthday, which is coming right up on Sunday Aug. 6, so shop early and often for your favorite 37-year-old. I need, um, a new Swiss army knife. Agents of the Dept of Homeland Security confiscated mine in the Dulles Airport.

I'm definitely dopey. Forgot my earplugs at the pool today (this has never happened). Also got a bit distracted while swimming at one point and forgot to breath. This situation corrected itself fairly naturally. Still, there are side effects to spending a lot of one on one time with your own brain. Still, it's quite a mood lift. I am remarkably jolly.

The food has been excellent until now -- fresh, organic vegetarian fare. Tonight a bit of a shift, to gruel. And cabbage. And "pudding". Hopefully the situation will return to its earlier high points.

Notables: got to my car this morning to find it covered in ash. It's a bit of a transitional neighborhood here at 300 Page St. Someone burnt a mattress in the night, just 2 feet from my car. It's a wonder it didn't blow up. Oh well! Add "got a carwash" to my list of accomplishments. Got some fun news from the outside world: my friend Keith took two silver medals in the Gay Games in Chicago on Sunday for diving. Go Keith! Can't wait to hear how today's 3 meter competition went -- could there be a gold in Kiki's future? Stay tuned!