Is that bird bothering you?

Reading through a transcript of a customer interview video, shot in Marin a few weeks ago. At one point the interviewer asks: is that bird bothering you? I'm curious what he was planning to do about it. Whatever happened next, it wasn't in the transcript.

My work situation is coming to a head. It's all skulls and daggers around here. I received an e-mail just now letting me know that my manager is going to call me today to set up an in-person meeting on Thursday to "discuss an important business update." I can only imaginge that she, or I, am being laid off. (sigh.) Me? I was online this morning researching the San Juan islands. I was thinking it might be nice to spend a few weeks in August cycling around and taking ferries and camping. I could sublet my apartment, save some money. We'll see.

Is it human nature to try to prepare for possibly bad news by trying to make the bad news seem like something you really want to happen? Sure, go ahead, lay me off. Then I can go on a bike trip. Or back to school. So I can get on to what I'm *really* supposed to be doing with my life.

I guess my realization at this point is that I'm not at all confident that I'll hang onto my job, not because of my skills, but because of my personality. Working for a large corporation is isolating, and more chaotic than I can deal with. My relationship with my manager pretty much sucks, and the function that I provide has no visibility or value to the group that I'm assigned to. So it's pretty much the worst possible situation, except that it pays me reasonably well and is stable. Unless, of course, I am laid off.

Then there's this, the personality thing. What it boils down to is that I think other people's ideas are stupid, deficient. Unfortuantely people can tell that I think this. So there's a little problem that could accurately be described as "rubbing people the wrong way." Compounding this abrasion problem is that fact that it doesn't concern me very much, virtually guaranteeing that it will continue, possibly even escalate. That too does not concern me. Although it probably should. It's pretty hard to get by on brute talent. Unless you're an artist or independently wealthy. Or you want to live with your parents the rest of your life.

What a pickle. I suppose these thoughts are garden-variety anxieties that precede a layoff. I'll feel better on Friday, after I've received the Important Business Update. I hope.