Every new year, I do something bad. I buy a pack of cigarettes. And then I smoke them.
I like to think it's a harmless brush with addiction. An enactment of poor self esteem. An anti-resolution. So when others are giving up on getting shape, eating better, and otherwise mending their ways, I'm "kicking the habit" and settling back into a safe pattern of decent self-care: working out, eating kale, and doing my dishes promptly.
This year, however, I've done something a little different. I've bought a second pack. So I can stand at my kitchen window at night, feeling the cool night air high in my nose, with a thin barrier to my brain. The stars faint in the sky as I pull down the glowing end of a cigarette into my lungs, pink and unsuspecting. Poor lungs.
A friend's ex-husband could exhale smoke on command. He must've had a pocket in his lungs that retained smoke. I have to admit, I'm a bit jealous.
I tried being good. I helped my 85-year-old neighbor buy a bra. This was no mean feat. I apologized to 4 different friends for infractions large and small. OK, mostly small. I offered support to my ex-boyfriend. I completed a Development Plan for my job, mostly following the rules. But frankly, it hasn't been very much fun.
Maybe there's a third pack in my future.
Monday, January 23, 2006
Sunday, January 01, 2006
hello, 2006
I have to say, it's been a trying day of travel. However, 2006 appears to be my year of unflappable calm. I guess everyone's entitled to one.
It's so good to be home. Lots of little snags, but 11 hours later, here I am. Woke at 4am in Rochester NY. Both my parents took me to the airport. They're truly wonderful that way.
Where to begin? Had a quiet New Year's with my parents. Saw King Kong and went home for a midnight snack of popcorn and turkey sandwiches. It was nice. I have a stack of resolutions, but if I figure I don't write them down, then I'm not completely obligated. Besides, I've kindof boiled it down to a general rule of thumb: respect myself. That about covers the eating better, working out regularly, reading that stack of books by the door, and possibly prepare for a run at grad school. Oh phooey. I wrote it down.
New York has a couple good yarn stores. Came home with a bit of loot that I can spin up into a little giftie fun. Christmas ain't over yet!
Unpacking the gifts that folks gave me and feeling very appreciative. How nice that people go through the time and trouble to choose things I like. New pans. Martini glasses. A 5GB pocket drive, a knitting calendar. "I'm knitalicous!"
Try spelling that without looking.
Happy New Year to everyone!
It's so good to be home. Lots of little snags, but 11 hours later, here I am. Woke at 4am in Rochester NY. Both my parents took me to the airport. They're truly wonderful that way.
Where to begin? Had a quiet New Year's with my parents. Saw King Kong and went home for a midnight snack of popcorn and turkey sandwiches. It was nice. I have a stack of resolutions, but if I figure I don't write them down, then I'm not completely obligated. Besides, I've kindof boiled it down to a general rule of thumb: respect myself. That about covers the eating better, working out regularly, reading that stack of books by the door, and possibly prepare for a run at grad school. Oh phooey. I wrote it down.
New York has a couple good yarn stores. Came home with a bit of loot that I can spin up into a little giftie fun. Christmas ain't over yet!
Unpacking the gifts that folks gave me and feeling very appreciative. How nice that people go through the time and trouble to choose things I like. New pans. Martini glasses. A 5GB pocket drive, a knitting calendar. "I'm knitalicous!"
Try spelling that without looking.
Happy New Year to everyone!
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